Channelized Wishes
by Mangetsu-Yuki
Summary: In the setting of Little Busters! Refrain. With Kyousuke left depressed in his room, someone has to uncover the secret to this world and the one to do that will be a little pink monkey in search of its own desire. A story about friendship, victory and the fight against depression. Please note this is a work of fiction and the plot and characters may differ from the original. Enjoy!
1. Depression

It was a day like any other. No, I didn't say that right. It was the _same_ day like all the others, the same 20th of June. As I lay on the grass and stared at the clouds that would never move, I couldn't help but think about the one person responsible for this inescapable time loop. The one who had made my life miserable by locking me up in this world, along with his closest friends. They weren't my friends, though. I didn't have any. Damn that redhead.  
Natsume Kyousuke hadn't left his room in six days, or more precisely, in six times June 20th. According to Kengo and Masato, he just sat in his room against the wall, wearing a blanket over his head and reading his favorite manga. It sounded pathetic. Whereas the other Little Busters tried to live their lives to the fullest and bring joy to each other, their so-called 'leader' did nothing but spread gloom and depression.  
'Watch out!' Upon hearing Masato's warning, I curled myself up like a ball and heard a dull thud right next to me. If I hadn't moved, the baseball would have definitely hit my arm. 'Sorry about that, I'm a little rusty.' Masato smiled as he walked up to me and grabbed the white ball. I just nodded and wanted to look to the sky once again, only to find my vision blocked by Masato's grinning face. 'You know,' he chuckled 'you can play with us if you like. It must be boring to look at the same sky over and over.'  
They had done this so many times now, trying to get me involved with their group. It was a nice gesture, but it wasn't what I needed. What I needed was to escape to the real world, back to my real life of shutting myself in and playing video games all day. That was my life, not this fake friendship that wouldn't even last if things were to get serious. I didn't need friends; I just needed my old life back, that and my revenge at Kyousuke for doing this to me.  
'No thank you, I'm fine. Maybe some other time.' I didn't even bother to look at Masato and instead, pointed my eyes at the grass next to me. He, on his turn, threw the ball back at Kengo, Riki and Rin and sat down next to me. 'You always say that, yet you never play with us.' The muscled guy made it hard for me to look away from him, as if my eyes were drawn towards his. 'You don't like us, do you?'  
I shook my head and sat up straight, staring at the three members who were practicing their wings. They genuinely seemed to have fun, how could they in a world like this one? 'It's not that I don't like _you, _it's that I don't like being _here._' I paused for a few seconds and expected Masato to interrupt me, but he never did. Instead, he looked intrigued and was ready to hear more. 'I just want to go home and live my life like I did before.'  
The smile Masato showed was a sad one and as he wanted to speak, it seemed as if he recalled something and shut his mouth, after which he shrugged his shoulders and stood up. 'Well,' he sighed 'that's your choice, but it's kind of a waste, isn't it?' He put the baseball glove he had worn back on. 'You could have fun with us and play games all day long, but instead you're just sitting here, feeling sorry for yourself. If it were me, I would try to spread as much happiness as I could, because you never know what awaits you when these days are over.'  
There was something strange about the way he said it, as if he knew more about this world than he would tell me. I wanted to ask him about it, but before I could, Masato was already back on the field, ready to hit one of Rin's pitches.  
Then it struck me.  
I had never once tried to ask questions to the one who probably knew most. Riki and Rin _hadn't_ been able to answer me, Kengo _wouldn't_ answer me and now Masato didn't seem like he was going to give anything away either. If I wanted to escape this horrible, repeatable fate, there was only one person I could try and pry answers from; the depressed leader.

'Are you in there?' After two whole minutes of knocking, Kyousuke still hadn't answered the door. My question really was a rhetorical one, I knew he was inside, tarring away underneath the blanket, I had seen him here once before. 'I'm coming in.' As I opened the door, my eyes were taken in by the darkness around me. I closed the shrieking door behind me and let my eyes get accustomed to my new surroundings. 'Kyousuke?' At first it seemed as if the red-haired leader wasn't in his room, but then a shuffling sound gave away his location.  
He was sitting next to the door, completely covered in darkness. With the blanket pulled over his head, Kyousuke seemed so preoccupied with his manga, I wasn't sure if he had noticed me. Just looking at him would suck away any person's sense of joy and I could feel that the little amount of that feeling I possessed, wouldn't last long in this room.  
Even so, I sat down next to him and tried to make eye contact, without success. Just when I thought the redhead was going to pay some attention to me, his actions took away that hope. Without saying anything, he stood up, switched his manga and sat back down. Before I could blink, he had already pulled the blanket back over his head and wanted to start with a new volume.  
That was when I lost it.  
'What is wrong with you?' While screaming, I yanked the manga out of his hands and threw it to the other side of the room, awaiting his response. Kyousuke didn't move, but that didn't stop me from letting him know how I felt. 'I can't even remember how many days it has been.' I had to fight my hardest to hold back the tears that were coming. 'We have been here in this world for so long, when is it going to end? This is all your fault Kyousuke, I hate you! When are you going to take me back to my own world?'  
For a brief moment, Kyousuke looked at me, his eyes seemingly filled with pain. He sighed and stared at the ceiling. 'You don't have a world to return to, none of us do, except for Rin and Riki. Just try to make your wish come true, that's all you need to do here.' My wish? What was he talking about? The only thing I wished for right now was to return to my own room, with my own stuff and my own life. There was nothing else I wanted, let alone something from this world.  
When I looked around me, broken from my line of thoughts, Kyousuke was already back to reading the manga I had thrown away. It seemed as if the with pain filled eyes looked a bit more rejoiced now that he had his book back. He was just like me, the red-haired leader, escaping to a world of fantasy and imagination, where anything would be possible and where no one would have to suffer.  
'So, what's it about?' I sighed and got a little closer to Kyousuke, trying to read over his shoulder. He seemed startled and restored the space between us. 'Why are you still here?' Once again, he sounded so depressed, as if all the positivity from the leader everyone knew had been taken away from him. It was sad to see.  
'Because I'm going to stay here with you. There is no reason for me to go back outside.' He needed someone, this broken man. He needed a voice who would tell him that everything would be fine, even if that voice had no idea what was going on. Right then and there I decided that the voice who would guide him to happiness would be me.  
'I thought you said you hated me.' The redhead briefly looked at me once more and closed his manga. 'I did, and it's not like I didn't mean it. Still, you look like you're lonely and I hate to see people with that look on their face. So, I'm going to try my hardest to take away that loneliness.' Without me intending for it to happen, a smile appeared on my face, a genuine smile. As I looked at Kyousuke, I wondered how long ago it was that I felt the way he did now. 'How about it?'


	2. Affection

'Why aren't you happy in this world?' Kyousuke's question was so straight forward; I needed to think about it for a minute. We were still sitting against the wall in his room and hadn't really done anything but to stare in front of us. Finally the redhead had said something. For the past thirty minutes, he hadn't moved an inch, which made me wonder about the world record for sitting still. The tea I had put in front of him twenty minutes ago had gone cold and I wanted to get up to get him a new one, even though he probably wouldn't touch that one either. 'I'll think about it while I get you some tea.' Kyousuke's hand was warm when it grabbed my wrist, it was like his hand totally contradicted his depressed behavior. Or maybe it was the spreading of his warmth that made me wary, I didn't know. 'So basically, you're going to run away again?' His eyes met mine for a second, after which I suddenly pulled away from him. 'I-it's not like I'm r-running away, I just want to get you some tea.' Crap, why did I stutter just now? 'I'll be right back!' As quick as I could, I ran out the room, leaving behind a surprised leader.

The sun was warm, just like it always was in this world. As I stood against a tree and looked up, I couldn't help but think I was a little lucky for being here, though I couldn't find a particular reason. That was my first positive thought about this world. It felt really good, having the sun touch my skin and a cool breeze touching my face. This was just what I needed, some peace and qui- 'Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you were with Kyousuke.' Kengo's voice made me jump up and I almost hit my head against a branch. 'W-what?' As I panicked and looked around flustered, Masato appeared from behind me and lifted me up.  
'Oi Oi! What are you doing? Masato-kun, please put me down!' The muscled one laughed and put me back swiftly. 'Sorry, I just thought you looked like a good workout!' As Masato said it, Kengo took a step backwards and looked at me. I, on my turn, wasn't paying any attention to Kengo, all of it went to the one who had lifted me up. 'So now you're implying I'm heavy?' It looked as if I was ready to kill him, not that I ever would. I wasn't one of those girls who could get mad over a comment like that. Still, it was fun to see him sweat for a moment. 'N-no, that's not what I meant! Sorry, I really didn't mean it like that. Uhm… I'm really sorry!'  
Me smacking his shoulder seemed to totally confuse Masato –and Kengo for that matter- and he just looked at me with big eyes. 'You're a good guy, Masato.' As I said the words, I could hear there was something off; it was as if my voice had changed a little. It sounded… warmer. I wanted to think about my voice more, but my brain didn't give me that time, because it was already sending information about something Kengo had said. 'Wait, how do you know I was with Kyousuke?' The two guys looked at each other and Kengo scratched the back of his head. 'Well, we were with him just now, checking up on him. He said you two were talking, but you suddenly ran away, so we decided to go and look for you.' For a few moments, I didn't know what to say. The idea that someone went outside to look for me was something I've never had to think about, seeing how this was the first time it happened to me.  
The feeling that came with it, a warm and glowing feeling that spread from my chest to the rest of my body, was incredible. It was as if I didn't need the sun anymore to warm up my skin, this feeling was just as sufficient, maybe even more so. I was so taken in by this new sensation, that for a while, I totally forgot how I initially felt about this world and the fact that Kyousuke had somehow brought me here, only to be reminded about it once Masato started to talk about the red-haired leader.  
'Why don't you go back to Kyousuke? He's waiting for you.' Waiting? That thought hadn't crossed my mind even once. I had assumed that as soon as I had left the room, Kyousuke would just resume reading his manga. My surprised look ignited a chuckle or two, after which Kengo put a hand on my shoulder. 'You know, he is actually quite fond of you, Kyousuke. At the end of the day, all he wants to do is to help. If you just give him a chance, I'm sure you will enjoy being here more. Now, go grab that tea that you were going to get him and make that moron smile.'  
Of course, I wanted to ask Kengo how he knew about the tea, though I could have probably guessed the answer. I had to be careful what to tell the redhead, because apparently, what I said to him, was said to the rest of the Little Busters. Still, it made me kind of happy that he did tell the others about our little conversation. It made my body fill itself with an even more intense warmth than just now and I could only describe it as affection, or maybe I just wanted to believe it was.

'So, you're finally back? You didn't even bring tea.' Was it me or did he just show a slight smile? 'No, I'm sorry, I forgot the tea. I had a little encounter outside, so I got a bit sidetracked.' Kyousuke shook his head as if to tell me it wasn't a big deal. As I sat next to him, it felt as if the gloomy atmosphere had lifted a little bit and was making some room for a more loving feeling. 'So have you thought about an answer?' Kyousuke's intense glare made me want to look away, but for some reason, I couldn't, I was too taken in by his eyes. Those beautiful red eyes, they seemed so loving and lonely at the same time, it made me wonder if people could feel those two emotions simultaneously. 'To what question?' As I asked for clarification, I suddenly remembered. Why wasn't I happy in this world? I hadn't thought about it even once since I had stormed out the room, because until now, my mind had been completely occupied with the feeling of 'affection' I was getting to know. That didn't stop my mouth from spouting an answer, though.  
'I miss something here. This world looks very nice and the weather is always good, but there is something I miss. I don't know for sure, but I think it has to do with my old life. You know, my video games, shutting myself in, not having to talk to anybody, that's what I miss.' Kyousuke smirked and stared in front of him. 'So why not do that then?' 'Huh?' I looked at him and tilted my head to the side. 'There are more than enough video games, rooms and consoles at this campus. Why not shut yourself in here in this world too?'  
With big eyes, I looked at the redhead. Why hadn't I thought of such an obvious solution? It almost seemed too good to be true, I could just go back to my old life, only in a different world. I wanted to think about that best-case scenario for a little while longer, but Kyousuke's next words would take up all my thinking space for the next few hours.  
The leader sat straight and looked as if he was pending over something. After a minute or so, he coughed and looked me right in the eye, which caused my cheeks to color red. 'Did you know that we are all here because we wished for something?' As I shook my head, Kyousuke suddenly grabbed my hand. The warm feeling instantly spread throughout my entire body and I was happy that I didn't have to speak right now. If I had, I wouldn't have been able to make decent sentences. 'You wished for something too and it isn't what you think it is. Why don't you think hard about what it is that you miss and come back as soon as you know?'  
Did that mean Kyousuke knew what I wished for? If he didn't, how would he know that my interpretation was wrong? I wanted to ask more, but when I felt something warm on my lap, I knew that asking more was out of the question. 'Moron,' I muttered. 'how can you fall asleep so suddenly?' I closed my eyes and threw my head back, while I let my fingers run though the redhead's hair. I wanted to figure out what my wish was, I wanted to know what I lacked and what I missed. I was going to find it, no matter how long it took. I was going to find it and escape from this world. Even though Kyousuke had said I was wrong, I knew that the lifestyle I lived was one that worked for me.  
Even if it meant letting being alone overflow in loneliness.


	3. Rejection

'Sweetheart, would you please open the door and let me talk to you?' The mother in front of the door got no response from her daughter. She kept knocking, though. 'Honey, I know you're in there, will you please say something, I'm afraid that something has happened.' Just when the mother was ready to fall on her knees with despair, a weak voice emerged from behind the door. 'I'm alive, I'm just playing. Would you please leave?'  
With her hands pressed against her mouth, trying to prevent herself from letting out cries over her depressed daughter, the mother left the door and went back downstairs. When she walked into the living room, her husband was sitting on the couch, reading the paper. 'So, how is she?' As his wife broke down in front of him, the husband and father knew enough. Their daughter hadn't shown any improvement for three years now. At the age of twelve, she was exactly the same as she was the day her classmates started bullying her. If only they had noticed sooner, if only they had tried harder, maybe everything wouldn't be as bad as it was now.  
But things were kind of bad. The twelve year old looked at her screen and started to whisper to the blonde guy with the green outfit, the one she was controlling. 'People at school don't like me, Link. They say that I'm weird and that I should find another school where I fit in. Where do I fit in, Link?' Just when the little girl wanted to ask her heroic friend more, the screen suddenly turned black. She put her controller down and tried to fiddle with the TV, without success. For some reason, she suddenly felt the need to look out the window, and when she did, she saw something she craved for without her knowing it yet.  
The five kids she saw running around looked like they had the time of their lives. The big smiles on their faces showed that without a doubt. 'Ha, got you Masato! You're it now!' 'Ah man. I'll get you for that Riki!'  
Suddenly, one of the boys of the group looked up and stared at the little girl, who quickly hid herself behind her curtain. She could still see the boy, but he couldn't see her anymore. 'What's wrong Kyousuke?' The one called Masato stood next to his friend and looked up with him. 'I don't know, I thought I saw someone, a girl.' The redhead pointed at the little girl's window. 'Right there.' Without thinking about it, he put his hands next to his mouth and took a deep breath. 'Hey! Hey girl! If you want, you can play with us! We're the Little Busters and we always welcome someone new!'  
Needless to say, the girl never responded to the leader's words. As if there would ever be someone who'd genuinely want to be with her, she just couldn't believe that the redhead would invite her to play if he didn't even know her. He didn't know how weird and unadapt she was. How unfit she was for society and how people around her only got hurt by her cold words when they were with her, a reject of this world.  
And maybe most important of all, also quite needless to say, Kyousuke probably didn't know that the little girl he had seen was me.

When I opened my eyes, it took me a while to realize that I wasn't dreaming anymore. When my nerves told my brain there was something warm on my head I instantly shot up and with it, unintentionally pushed away Kyousuke's hand that was resting on it. The redhead looked at me with a bit of surprise and slightly smiled. 'Are you okay? You were crying in your sleep.' I nodded and stood up. 'Yeah, I'm fine. I just… had a bad dream?' Kyousuke kept looking at me and it was clear he wanted to ask me what my dream was about. He never did, though.  
The sudden knock on the door made me take a step back and as I heard a creaking sound, Masato and Riki entered the room. 'Are you guys still here?' As Riki said the words, I looked over at Kyousuke for a response, but all of a sudden, he had reverted back to his depressed self. The blanket was back over his head and he was reading once again. It was clear that it was up to me to answer the brunet. 'Yeah, we were just… sitting here.' There was no need for the two to know about my little conversations with Kyousuke, they wouldn't tell me anything about what was happening here either. 'We wanted to invite you to join us for diner.' Masato smiled when he said it, it seemed like a genuine smile.  
I looked over at the redhead, but there was no response from his side. Looking at him, I just couldn't leave him behind, even though a part of me still hated him, I just couldn't. 'No, thank you, I think I'll-' 'I think you should go.' My voice filled itself with surprise as I looked at Kyousuke. 'Why?' He shrugged his shoulders. 'Just go already.' I wanted to respond, I wanted to tell him he should come too. He already was a part of the Little Busters, maybe even the most important part, why didn't he want to be with his friends? Those were words I wanted to speak, but Masato had pulled me through the door before I had the chance to do so. 'Come on, it will be fun!' Fun… That was a word I didn't use too often. The only times I had genuinely felt as if I had fun, was when I was alone, playing games. 'Fun.' I whispered, looking at the two boys in front of me.  
'Man, I'm in the mood for a good meat dish!' Masato waved his hands in the air and took big steps forward. Riki smiled. 'Yeah, me too. Too bad that Kyousuke still wants to be alone.' He turned to me. 'Did he say anything to you? We are actually really worried about him.' Flustered, I shook my head and Riki let out a disappointed 'oh'. 'Don't worry!' Masato didn't seem all that worried about his friend. 'He will be his old self before you know it! Now, let's eat.'

'Yeah, it was the same with those kids from the bus accident; I heard that their spirits still roam freely in this world and they are coming after other high school students. We should all watch our backs; the accident took place not far from here.' Rin looked very serious, trying to scare the rest with her ghost story. Kengo was the one who either didn't really listen to her, or he just wasn't that easily scared. Masato and Riki held on to each other, though, crying out how they had their whole lives in front of them. 'I don't want to become spirit food.' Masato looked at his muscles. 'These babies would probably be a great meal for them, they'll be coming after me first.' Riki and Rin both started to chuckle, but Kengo didn't seem one bit entertained.  
As he put his chopsticks down, he stood up and walked away without saying anything. 'What's wrong with him?' Rin seemed completely clueless as she stared at the back of her white haired friend. Masato shrugged his shoulders. 'He has some issues, let him be, he'll be fine.' But there was something about the way Kengo acted that made it seem as if he wasn't fine. 'Are you sure?' I looked at Masato and let out a hiss. 'He looked as if he was in pain.'  
Was it me, or did Masato's eyes change for a bit? For a second there, he really scared me, as if he wanted to tell me to let the subject go. I stood up, ignoring Masato's glare, and started to walk away. Masato yelled something about how I should leave Kengo alone, but I just couldn't pass up on an opportunity like this. Kengo knew more about this world, I was sure of that. I had tried once before to pry some information from him, but back then he wouldn't budge one bit. Maybe now, with this change in his attitude, he would tell me something. My walking started to turn into running as I looked around. I was going to find the white haired one and he was going to give me answers regarding this world. I still didn't know a damn thing and I sure as hell didn't know how to escape this world.  
As I stood on the baseball field, finally stopping to catch my breath, I suddenly noticed it had been raining for a while. Within the few minutes I had been outside, my clothes had been completely drenched and my hair was sticking to my face. That didn't stop me from wanting to continue running, though. Just when I wanted to start running once again, a voice behind me made my body freeze.  
'You know, if you keep on running with your terrible level of endurance, you'll collapse within five minutes. Were you looking for me?'


	4. Realization

The sound of the rain gushing on the roof of the storage room, the one right next to the baseball field, was making it hard for me to properly hear when Kengo would return. We had been sitting next to each other for ten minutes, without saying anything, when he had decided to grab a drink from the vending machine. During the time he was gone, I tried to prepare my questions for him, but without success. There were so many of them, I just didn't know where to start. I was still trying to sort everything out when suddenly, the sound of the rain got louder. It made me jump up and when I looked in front of me, a purple can was all I could see. 'Thank you,' I muttered as I took the can from him. 'What do I owe you?' Kengo slightly smiled as he once again sat next to me. 'Nothing, this is on me.'  
There was something awkward about this, though I didn't know what exactly. That's when it crossed my mind that I had never been alone with Kengo before. I had conversations with almost every member of the Little Busters, the only ones I hadn't spoken separately were Kengo and Rin. I had once tried to pry answers from Kengo, but that conversation hadn't lasted longer than one minute. 'So why did you walk away from dinner?' My mouth was faster than my mind, and even though it seemed like a fair question, I could see Kengo had trouble answering it. 'It's a long story,' he sighed. 'Let's just keep it at that.' I wasn't going to. 'I've got the entire evening.' As I glared at Kengo, he frowned and rubbed his forehead. 'You know that when people say that, they actually don't want to tell someone else, right?'  
This wasn't getting me anywhere, there was no way the tall kendo champion was going to help me like this. 'Please help me.' My voice was way weaker than I intended it to be, it made me feel as small as my range was right now. Kengo sighed once more and suddenly, I was held by his muscled arms, feeling the warmth of his chest. 'What are you-' My words were muffled due to the fabric of his clothes. I wanted to make sure he would hear me the second time, but the sensation rushing through my body was so dominant, I had no time to think about speaking. The sound of the gushing rain seemed so far away, it was as if Kengo had sealed us from this world, as if he had created a moment for just us two. It made me feel… loved.  
'Stubborn girl.' Kengo's words were as warm as the touch of his body and when they reached me, I had trouble holding back some tears. 'Why are you standing in the way of your own happiness? You don't have to feel like this, you know? We are all here to make your wish come true, so stop trying to fight this world and listen to your heart.' That had been the cue for my tears to start flowing and for the first time since Kengo's sudden embrace, I could make myself hearable. 'My wish?' The white haired one nodded and he gently let me go. Even though he wasn't holding me anymore, his body heat was still detectable, as if he was still hugging me in spirit. 'You made a wish before you came here and you should try whatever you can to make that wish come true.' I tried my hardest to recall that moment, but there was nothing that came to mind. As far as I knew, the only wishes I had made in my life regarded finishing levels or gaining experience points. 'Do you know what my wish is?' I could almost feel my eyes pop out of my head and as they met Kengo's, curiosity was taking over my body, only to be crushed as soon as Kengo shook his head. 'You're the one who has got to figure that out. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going to finish my meal. If Masato hasn't already attacked it, that is.'

Even though Kengo had left more than an hour ago, I was still sitting in the storage room, lost in thought, his words still floating around in my head. A wish before I came here, Kengo had made it sound like it was just a little puzzle I had to solve, but something told me things weren't that easy. What was it that I wished for, what was my deepest desire? How could I figure something that big out if I didn't even know where to search for the answer?  
'Why are you here, all by yourself? Kengo already came back some time ago.' Masato's voice tried to reach me, but the mess in my head was so big, they never arrived. When I looked up, his slight smile and squinted eyes were blocking most of my vision. Because I thought I was alone, the muscled one's face caused for me to fall off the chair I was sitting on. 'Oh, hey,' I muttered. 'What are you doing here?' He shrugged his shoulders and helped me up. 'I just wanted to give something to you; I thought it might help you to find what you're looking for. We are all here to help you, you know.'  
The book Masato put on the seat next to me looked like it was made for and by children. Its colorful cover showed a pink monkey that was surrounded by many stars, all in different colors. _Channeled Wishes_, the title didn't really seem to match the cover and I didn't really understand how this would help me. Still, I thanked Masato and threw a fake smile his way.  
They weren't really trying to help me. If they were, they would have told me what I was missing; they would have given me the answer to my question, instead of turning it into a little game. A game where I had to collect the hints they gave me and had to complete the puzzle before time was up, that's how it felt. They were teasing me, just like everyone else did. The Little Busters weren't any different from the people who had stamped on my heart and left it behind, broken.  
'Hey uh…' Masato coughed and smiled sincerely. 'Do you want to watch the fireworks with us tonight? Everyone will be there.' For a second, I didn't know how to respond. I could just turn him away like I had done so many times before, but the warm feeling I had felt when Kengo had held me, suddenly returned. Without thinking about it too much, I quickly nodded and made an attempt to leave the storage room, only to be interrupted by Masato's words as soon as I had reached the door. 'Eight 'o clock, baseball field, don't be late, okay?' As he raised his thumb, I nodded once more and left the room.

This had to be far enough, there was no way Masato was somewhere around here. Finally I could let my tears flow freely. I had been holding them in ever since the warm feeling had returned, but now that it had disappeared, I was left with nothing but pain. It had made me so happy, the invitation to see the fireworks. It should have been so easy: I'd meet them at eight and we would have a wonderful time together, while watching the colorful show in the sky. I couldn't, though. Not with the broken mess that I called my heart. It had been stamped on so many times; surely it would happen again once I would let someone in. My heart had been closed off for so many years now; I didn't even know _how_ to open it.  
Tears were still wetting my cheeks when I wanted to take a look at the book Masato had given me. What a letdown it was when I realized I had left it in the storage room. There was still some time before the fireworks would start; I could quickly grab the book and go someplace where I could read it in silence. A place where I could let everything that happened today sink in, before the 20th of June would start again.  
But when I arrived at the tiny, cold room, the only thing that was lying on the chair Kengo had sat on was a tiny note. _What do you hate most, Little Monkey?_ _When you realize what it is you don't want, you can think about what it is you do want. Don't forget, the fireworks start at eight, be there.  
_Maybe it was because of the note, or maybe the answer had been in my head all along, but suddenly, the feeling I despised more than anything overtook my body. I was back right where I was when I was just a little girl, when this feeling had consumed me for the first time. And then it hit me: Though I loved being alone, being in my own world, this was something I would rather not feel. I had done it again, like I had so many other times. I had let being alone overflow in loneliness without realizing it.


	5. Malfunction

**A/N: Thank you for reading this fanfic, reviews would be very much appreciated, so please tell me what you think. Thank you in advance! :) -Yuki **

'Have a nice weekend!' The teacher of the fourth grade stood in front of the school gates and waved at her students. 'See you on Monday!' All kids were eager to shake the teacher's hand, say their goodbyes or to promptly give her a hug. All but one, of course.  
The little girl who maybe needed that hug more than anyone else had already left. As she walked down the street, a voice behind her made her pick up her pace. They were too fast, though. 'Where do you think you're going?' One of the girl's classmates had put his hand on her shoulder. She tore away from him and continued her journey, trying her hardest not to let the bullies know she was scared.  
Only a few seconds later, she was lying on the ground, her knees bleeding and her elbows scuffed. 'Don't walk away from us, you creep.' It was the oldest boy in class who felt the need to bring the little girl down as he kicked her in the stomach. 'We just wanna play y'know.' Before he had even finished his sentence, the little girl had curled up like a little ball. She couldn't win against four boys and she already knew what was going to happen. She would come home covered in blood and bruises, her parents would ask her what had happened and she would say she had tripped or fallen down. Just like she always did.  
But when the little girl heard a few screams and opened her eyes, the four bullies were gone and a hand was wavering in front of her vision. The redhead in front of her kindly smiled as he helped her up. 'Don't worry about them, Masato and Kengo over here gave them a serious beating. They won't be bothering you anytime soon.'  
If only the girl had said what she felt at that moment, if only she had admitted that these were the kind of people she wanted around her, maybe she would have by now. But no, the girl quietly thanked the group and ran off home, back to her blonde heroic friend of course.

'It's beautiful, isn't it?' From where I stood, I could clearly hear every little thing Rin said about the fireworks. If only I took a few steps forward, I would be standing right next to the four on the baseball field, instead of admiring them and all the colors around them from behind a tree. My body did the same thing it always did, though: Staying away from others and not letting anybody notice I was there. As if it were the only thing in my manual; running away. 'It's a shame those other two aren't here, it would be much more fun with them around.' When Kengo said those words, I pressed my hand against my mouth, trying to snicker as silently as possible.  
'Yeah, you're right,' Masato smiled. 'It's just not the same without Kyousuke and the Pink Monkey.' The muscled one smacked a surprised Riki on the back. 'They'll come around and find a way to join in on the fun, I'm sure of it. They might be depressed right now, but we'll lift up their spirits!'

'It broke.' The little girl whispered and stared at her TV. Just a minute ago, she was roaming around freely in the world known as Hyrule, but now the TV could only show her a blackened screen. The girl put the controller away and tried everything to have the device working again. 'Please, work, I don't want to be alone here.' The blackened screen stayed.  
It was clear it had malfunctioned, unable to do the one thing it was bought for. The little girl could feel tears welling up. Not because of the TV itself, of course, but because of the beautiful world it had taken with it.  
'Why do things malfunction?' She whispered to herself. 'Why can't you just do what you always do?' Suddenly a strange thought occurred in the girl's head. Would she ever experience a malfunction? Were humans even able to do that? And if so, what would it feel like?

I had already taken a few small steps when my brain finally noticed what my body was doing and even though it told me to stay still and unnoticed, the small steps turned into bigger and faster ones. Before I knew it, I was running, but why? Behind me, the fireworks were still making noise and showing their colors, but I felt like I didn't have time to look at them. I had somewhere else to be, someone else to be with.

He was sitting in the exact same position as he had when I had left for dinner. The blanket over his head and a manga in his hands, taking him on a journey to a world much better than this one. It was clear he had noticed me, even though he didn't move an inch, his words were enough. 'Why aren't you outside?' Kyousuke's voice sounded weakened, as if he hadn't eaten in days. 'They are waiting for you, you know.'  
Again, my body moved on its own, as if to show my brain that it knew what to do. Before I knew it, I held the leader tightly after I had fallen to my knees. 'Stupid idiot,' I whispered. 'They're not just waiting for me, they're waiting for _us_.'  
The falling manga produced a dull thud as it hit the ground and my body filled itself with surprise when Kyousuke's arms clutched themselves around my back. I could feel my shoulder getting wet and when the redhead looked at me, the tears in his eyes and on his cheeks made my own flow as well.  
So there we were, two teenagers crying over the same thing; loneliness. With his head back on my shoulder, Kyousuke's words sounded muffled, but they were loud enough for me to hear them. 'Will you please watch the fireworks with me' For a second, I froze and processed the sentence, only to find out it was the first time someone had asked me to join him the way Kyousuke had done; like he really needed me.  
I stood up and pulled him with me, embracing him again once we were both standing. With small steps, we walked up to the window and were just in time to see the final three arrows being shot into the sky. The purple, green and blue they showed lit up the entire room.  
'So this is a humane malfunction,' I whispered. 'Interesting.' When Kyousuke looked at me with question in his eyes, I was looking for words to explain what had happened to me, but couldn't find the right ones.  
As soon as I had heard Masato say they didn't only miss me, but their leader too, I had thought about how terrible Kyousuke must have felt. As someone who knew the feeling of loneliness and being unloved, my heart broke thinking he must have felt that way too. The moment that had crossed my mind, my feet had already been taking the first small steps that had eventually led me to this point. My body had moved without the consensus of my brain, because I knew my brain would have never given its permission for taking those steps. I had malfunctioned, but in a good way.  
And without knowing it yet, the steps I had taken on this 20th of June were the first steps towards escaping this world. My first steps towards real happiness.


	6. Accusation

The sound of breaking glass filled the room and it took me a second to realize I had hurt myself in the process of throwing the vase. Kyousuke looked up, but turned back to his manga just as quickly. 'Why won't you tell me?' I screamed. 'Are you even aware of the fact that this is all your fault? If you had left me alone, I would never have come here. I hate you Kyousuke! I would have much rather been left to die!'

**Thirty minutes earlier**

'I brought you some soup, please eat something.' As I put the bowl in front of the leader, I sat down next to him and closed my eyes, thinking about the happiness I had felt when we watched the fireworks together. Even though we hadn't met up with the other Little Busters, it had still felt as if all of us had been together that evening. It had been the best 20th of June so far.  
But now I was thinking about what bothered me most about this world: The reason I was brought here and how I could escape. I had totally forgotten about my resentment towards Kyousuke, but that didn't mean it wasn't there anymore, just like all of my questions. I knew asking directly about my wish or my reason for being here wasn't going to get me any answers, so I had to try to ask some sub-questions. 'Where are all the other students?' It seemed like a fair question, but it didn't seem like Kyousuke was going to answer it.  
I was wrong.  
'They died.' He said it as if it were completely normal, as if I should have known already. My eyes got bigger and I stood up, hoping he was joking. 'They died?' I asked. 'What do you mean?' The redhead in front of me sighed and closed is manga. 'I mean what I say; they died.'  
For a moment, I was at a loss for words. Didn't he notice that his answer wasn't sufficient enough? 'How did they die?' It took me some effort to speak the words, completely stunned by this sudden turn of events. Our classmates hadn't died, Kyousuke had to be joking. But why would you joke about something as serious as death?  
'Have you heard anything about a bus accident near this school?' I nodded. It was the accident Masato had spoken of during dinner, a subject that had caused Kengo to walk away from the cafeteria. 'There was a class that went on a field trip, and while they were on their way, the bus crashed in the woods nearby, right?' Kyousuke nodded and for the first time in days, he took a sip of the soup I had brought him.  
'That wasn't just some class, it was our class.' As soon as the leader had spoken the words, I took another step backwards. There was just no way he was telling the truth. If our classmates had died, we would have remembered for sure. Something as serious as an accident wasn't something we could have forgotten, even if we had tried our hardest to do so.  
'I don't believe you.' My voice was weak and my hands were shaking. 'Why don't we remember anything about that?' Kyousuke gritted his teeth and sighed once more before answering me. 'Because we are dead too. All of us died in that accident, except for Riki and Rin.' It was clear that Kyousuke had a lot of trouble with talking about this, but I wasn't going to stop asking questions just because of that. He owed me an explanation, even if it was a weird one like this.  
'So how can we live here if we died?'  
'Because our wishes created this world.'  
'What do you mean?'  
There was a silence that lasted more than five minutes. In those minutes, my brain worked overtime, trying to put all the pieces together, but it failed miserably. No one could have come to a proper conclusion after hearing something like this. At least I couldn't.  
'When the bus crashed and we died, all of our wishes connected and channelized, creating a world where we could make them come true one by one. Fulfilling your wish here means fulfilling your deepest desire in what was your life. You will be sent to the afterlife as soon as you do, or so I believe. Even I can't comprehend the situation we are in, but it is what it is.'  
Kyousuke smiled slightly and took another sip of the soup. 'My wish was to make Riki and Rin as strong as possible, so that they could live on after this world was obliterated and it looks like they're on their way to accomplish that. It makes me happy to see that they're doing fine, but it also brings me a lot of grief knowing I won't be able to see them after they leave this world.'  
'So I am suffering because of you?' The change in my voice not only scared Kyousuke, but me as well. All the anger I felt towards the redhead was welling up inside of me and before I knew it, I had grabbed him by the collar, trying to lift him up. He averted his eyes and didn't move an inch, nor did he show any emotion or remorse. 'Answer me, Natsume Kyousuke! Did you bring me here just so I could assist you in fulfilling your own wish? Just so I could help in making Riki and Rin stronger?'  
No response.  
'You probably know what everyone's wishes are, so tell me mine! I want to fulfill it and escape this world as soon as possible! What is the point of fulfilling it in the first place, if it means that you'll go to the afterlife right after? Answer me!'  
As I let the redhead go, his body made a dull noise when it reached the ground. The blanket that had fallen off when I had lifted him went back over his head and his reading was being resumed.  
'Will it do any good if I answer you?' His words were cold and he didn't even bother to look at me when he said it. 'Won't it just cause you more harm?' How could he say that with a straight face? Didn't he know how much harm he had already done in bringing me here in the first place? 'If I didn't want any answers, I wouldn't have asked you any questions. Now, tell me what my wish is, so that I can start working on it.'  
'No.'  
The sound of breaking glass filled the room and it took me a second to realize I had hurt myself in the process of throwing the vase. Kyousuke looked up, but turned back to his manga just as quickly. 'Why won't you tell me?' I screamed. 'Are you even aware of the fact that this is all your fault? If you had left me alone, I would never have come here. I hate you Kyousuke! I would have much rather been left to die!'  
And then something happened that I wouldn't have thought would change my opinion about the redhead as much as it did. I was ready to throw something else his way, something that would do some serious damage, but when I looked his way, I saw that a big part of the blanket was drenched in fluid. Kyousuke suddenly stood up and as soon as his hand reached my cheek, I could feel it burn. It hurt.  
'You idiot!' It was the first time since I had come here that I heard him scream. The eyes that looked at me were filled with tears and as they flowed over his cheeks, his arms folded themselves around mine. 'How can you be so stupid? How little do you value your own life that you would rather be dead than to find some friends? There is only one reason why I don't want to tell you what your wish is, because I want you to stay here! We all want you to stay here! You may have never noticed, but we like you from the very start! I liked you as soon as I laid eyes on you as you hid behind your curtain, scared to make contact with us. We don't want to lose you and we want to have a lot of fun with you! How is it that you have never realized that? Moron!'  
I didn't know what to say, or if anything I had to say would be good enough right now. The one I had accused of bringing me sorrow was the one who wanted to bring me joy. When I noticed that the warm feeling I had felt earlier had returned, I couldn't help but cry myself too. While burying my head in Kyousuke's chest, I mumbled quietly. 'I know what my wish is, I think I've figured out my deepest desire. Thank you, Natsume Kyousuke.'


	7. Channelization

I could hear a voice right beside me, a voice telling me one of the most accurate stories I had ever heard. A story written by a girl and read to me by a boy. I could only figure it was the redhead who had lent his voice for this tale.

'_This is a story about a little pink monkey that tries to count the stars in heaven. When the monkey was born, its mommy and daddy told it that it was the most beautiful monkey they had ever seen. Even though its bright color didn't match the brown shade of the other monkeys, it was still told to be a precious being, something that deserved to be alive.  
But then the other monkeys in the forest started to pick on the pink one for being different. Thus, the idea of not being good enough and being worthless was slowly imprinted in its memory. It was a feeling that would last for a very long time. Poor monkey.  
Every night, the monkey looked at the darkened sky, searching for the stars that would light up its world. But one day, when it finally laid eyes on a few of those sparkling objects, it hid behind the curtain of fear, scared that the brighter the stars shine, the more they would trample on that pink little heart.  
It didn't know they wouldn't.  
Then something terrible happened to the monkey. As it was quietly sitting next to a few other monkeys, a twisted ray of fate struck them, leaving them for dead. It would have been such a sad story if it ended here, but due to the pink one's strong will, it didn't.  
As the monkey intensely wished upon the stars, they combined their powers to grant it every word it had spoken and they took it to a place where it could live happily, free from care and sorrow. But the monkey didn't know and wondered where it had been sent to and why. The brightest star of all tried its hardest to help the monkey find the truth, but its feelings were mixed. It wanted nothing more than to help the pink one, though it didn't want it to disappear. How was the red star going to solve this? Could it even solve this?  
The monkey kept on yelling at the star, accusing it of all the sorrow and not understanding its true objective. The star never said a word, just like the other colorful lights, all because they wanted to help the monkey. If only the monkey would open its eyes and see what was in front of it.  
And then, at what would probably be the 20__th__ of June, the monkey finally understood what was going on, what it was that it had longed for all along. As it gazed at the colors in the sky like every other night, something was different. The stars that were usually shaped blurrily had now adapted a clearer form.  
What kind of form? Some would call them 'friends' and some would call them 'precious beings', but one thing was clear: The monkey would never again be alone, for it had found the ones it had searched for since it was born. The ones that would make the pink one's life worthwhile. The stars that were called: The Little Busters!  
This story has been written by just another colorful star that wanted the monkey to be happy. I'll let you in on a little secret, pink companion: As soon as you read this, your deepest desire will have been confirmed and you will be sent off to what we like to call 'heaven'. Or do you have enough of that strong will left to turn the tables on fate once more?_

_Don't forget me, monkey, don't forget that bright red star. Please.'_

– Author: Komari-chan

There were lots of sounds surrounding me and they seemed familiar, but I couldn't clearly make out what they were individually, it just was too noisy. When I tried to open my eyes, I slightly panicked, for they wouldn't obey my wishes and kept themselves shut and I freaked out even more when my vocal chords failed me the same way. Suddenly, things got more quiet and I could clearly hear a woman's voice, one I didn't recognize.  
'If you guys are going to keep making such a ruckus, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, this is a hospital.' She sounded stern, but just. 'We're sorry, we will behave ourselves.' That was a voice that I recognized right away, it was Kengo. 'Is there any news on her condition?'  
When I suddenly felt a hand on my head, I wanted to move and tell the person touching me that he or she needed to let go of me, but of course, my body didn't respond. 'We have confirmation that she's picking up most of what happens in this room, but she has shown no signs of waking up in the near future. Just keep talking to her; it should help her to get back to us. Maybe it helps to wish for her safety.'  
The hisses and sighs around me made me want to jump up even more. I was fine, even if my eyes wouldn't open and I couldn't speak. I was alive and I could hear them clearly, I just had to find a way to let them know that. As I head footsteps that indicated someone leaving the room, the noise returned, which told me it had to have been the nurse who had left. There was only one voice I could make out clearly, one that exceeded the ruckus around me.  
'Did you hear that, Kyousuke? She said she can hear everything we say. What if she heard your little confession?' Though I had no idea what he was talking about, it sounded as if Masato was teasing the redhead, who for some reason started to stutter. 'W-what are you talking about? I have n-no idea what you mean. Why don't you guys go grab us something to drink?'  
Laughter and footsteps.  
Once again, I could feel a hand on my head, but this one was much warmer than the nurses' hand. It ignited the warm feeling residing in my heart and suddenly, the darkness that had surrounded my vision for an unknown period of time turned into a bright white light. It hurt my eyes.

'They shouldn't put patients underneath such an annoying light; it's not a nice way of waking up.' Was that really my voice? It sounded so weak, so fragile; it took me a little while realize that I had indeed been the one to speak. The hand that now rested on my cheek was pulled away so suddenly, it startled me.  
'You've awoken.' When I looked to my right, I could see that Kyousuke had trouble not to burst into tears, which made me emotional as well. Even though I didn't know why I was in a hospital bed, or what had happened to us, the sight of the leader sitting next to me made those questions of no importance. He put the book he held away and gazed at me. As I looked around, I saw all kinds of things that I had never seen before: Signs of affection. There were cards telling me I should get better soon and that I was missed, there were flowers on the cabinet to my left and there was a picture next to it.  
'I can only assume it's all thanks to you, Kyousuke.' Though my brain told me to ask the redhead what had happened to me, my heart wouldn't let it. I was filled with pure happiness when I looked at the smile on his face; the questions were to be asked later. The leader shook his head and took place on the edge of the bed, facing me with his cheeks colored pink. 'The only one who you should be thanking is yourself, we only did what we thought was necessary. I am just glad to see you again and hear your voice. I-it makes me love you even more.'  
When my brain had finally processed those words, I didn't have a chance to answer, because the ruckus returned in the form of the other Little Busters. Masato, Kengo, Riki and Rin all entered at the same time with drinks in their hands, which caused Kyousuke to quickly return to the chair he had sat on.  
'Welcome back.' Kengo's calm voice really put me at ease and I thankfully nodded his way when he stopped Masato from jumping up and down with joy. 'Relax, idiot, she just woke up and shouldn't be dealing with your hyper activeness.'  
'We are going to call your parents,' Riki said softly. 'They have been here so much; it's a shame they didn't get to see you waking up. Well, we're just glad you're back.' Rin and Riki quietly left and both Masato and Kengo stared at Kyousuke, who was suddenly very interested in the birds outside.  
'Has he told you yet?' Masato sounded like a little kid who was eager to unwrap his birthday gifts, but had been told to wait until the next morning. I wanted to respond to his cryptic question, but before I could, Kyousuke had stood up and attempted to push the two out of the room. Masato could just squeeze in an 'I'm glad you're okay,' before being shoved away by the redhead and having the door closed in front of him. I could hear the two chuckling.  
'Have you told me what?' Right now, I couldn't care less about what had happened to me, all that mattered was that I was back where I belonged, with friends that had cared for me all the way through. But what I _did_ want to know was what Masato meant. Something told me that the answer to this question would help me to heal my broken heart, to fix the cracks that had shown themselves for so many years.  
Kyousuke quietly walked up to the bed and once more, sat down next to me, placing his hands on each side of my face. The warmth of his lips made my eyes shoot wider with the second. 'What are you-' Before I could finish my sentence, his lips had touched mine once more. 'I'm glad you're back, little monkey. Please don't ever leave us –leave me- again. You have found the friends you are looking for, though I hope to be more to you than that. I love you.'  
My smile was barely noticeable because of all the tears flowing over my cheeks. These were the stars I had been looking for so desperately, it made me feel guilty I hadn't seen them right away. As I grabbed he picture next to me, I was overcome with surprise. 'When was this taken? I don't remember this.' The picture showed all the Little Busters in front of the bus that would have brought us so much desperation. Thank the heavens it hadn't in the end. 'Well, we had Riki photo-shop you next to me, but that won't do. We just need to take another field trip and make a real photo with all of us. What do you say, shall we channelize our desires once more?'

~The End

**A/N - Thank you for reading this story. I would be very grateful if you'd like to let me know what you think about it. It would help me to improve my stories in the future. Thank you. :)**

**-Yuki**


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